Congregation Shema Yisrael

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. -Leviticus 19:18

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.” -Mark 12:30-31

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. -Ephesians 5:28-30

I’ve always wondered about the assumptions these verses make. Of course, Moses is writing the original statement in the Torah (in Leviticus), and Yeshua (Jesus) is quoting him in Mark (among other Gospels). Paul makes a similar statement in Ephesians. The idea is that you are to treat your neighbor as well as you treat yourself, and a husband is to treat his wife as he treats his own body. The assumption is that you do love yourself and treat your body well. Is that a valid assumption?

It must have been back in the days of Moses, Yeshua, and Paul, otherwise, these statements wouldn’t have made a great deal of sense to their audiences. I suppose for many people, the assumptions are just as valid today. In fact, our modern culture seems to be rather excessively self-driven, catering primarily to the pleasure and desires of the individual. Yet there’s another side to human nature that isn’t being addressed. What about those people who walk around silently (or perhaps not so silently) feeling as if there’s dark cloud hanging over their heads? What about the people who don’t love themselves?

I’m sure you’ve heard of self-esteem. When my kids were younger and playing sports, just about everyone on the team (soccer, softball, basketball, you name it) got some sort of award, no matter how well or how poorly they played. Why? The folks who were behind these organized sports didn’t want to damage the children’s self-esteem. I agree we shouldn’t go out of our way to hurt someone’s feelings, but that doesn’t mean we can erase the reality of life that says not everyone excels at sports or other endeavours, does it?

Self-esteem must be an issue though, as their are entire books and websites dedicated to building self-esteem, and teaching people to live more positive lives. However, what does all this have to do with the body of believers? Don’t we have great self-esteem by virtue of the fact that we are the beloved of God?

Probably not, though the matter is sometimes debated in Christian circles with some believing that Christians don’t need self-esteem. After all, there are no direct commandments in the Bible to love yourself, are there? Actually, based on the three scriptures I previously quoted, it seems Biblically assumed that people would love and take care of themselves, so maybe an actual commandment wasn’t needed. Many of the Torah commandments after all, are on those topics of life people need reminders about (don’t murder, don’t steal, love others, do justice, and so on).

How we feel about ourselves does matter for a number of reasons. For instance, if we believe that God loves us, and that Yeshua cares so much about us, that he intercedes for us with the Father, where do we get off thinking that we don’t matter much? We all know “…God so loved the world…”, yet there really are believers who can’t imagine such love actually applying to them as individuals. This is especially true for some traditional Jewish worshipers, as well as Messianic believers at this time of year. We’re in the middle of the Ten Days of Teshuvah when we are to particularly consider the shortcomings of our lives, turn away from sin, and return to God, drawing closer to His will. Depending on what your lifestyle has been like, or at least how you perceive it, this can be a very depressing time of year.

Then there are people who don’t need the Ten Days of Teshuvah and Yom Kippur to be depressed about themselves. One way faith is sometimes (poorly) manifested in a person’s life, is as shame and guilt. “Technically”, we know we are forgiven for our sins, but emotionally and cognitively, we still haven’t forgiven ourselves for whatever we feel we’ve done wrong. It’s worse if we have people we love in our lives, who we believe haven’t forgiven us either (whether they really have, or not).

But what does it matter how we feel about ourselves, as long as we are doing the will of God? That’s the catch. If we walk about feeling unworthy and unlovable, chances are we transmit those feelings to others around us. If you’ve ever been around someone who is chronically blue or depressed, they can seem either really down all the time, or really moody and angry all the time (or some combination of all those expressions). Imagine someone who’s supposed to be a “light to the world” being sad, moody, and mad through most of their waking life. Is that how God wants us to serve Him?

2 Corinthians 9:7 tells us that God loves a cheerful giver and, if I can be forgiven for extending the metaphor, I believe God wants us not only to do His will on earth as it’s done in Heaven, but He wants us to do His will in a cheerful and loving way. That’s hard to do if you have a tendency to mope around a great deal.

I’m not saying it’s sinful to be depressed or blue. We all have situations in our lives that temporarily cause us to feel sad. People do have “moods” as well, so even the best among us isn’t likely to be totally upbeat all of the time. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about being sad or blue as a lifestyle, whether there are situations that contribute to being sad or not.

You’ve probably heard the expression that “you are what you eat” (which by the way, is true…your body is made out of whatever you feed it), but you may not be aware that you are also what you think. As it turns out, our life situations are only part of the issue in terms of how we feel. More important is how we interpret those situations. One person can recall a childhood, growing up in a poor section of town, in terms of what they never had and how they did without. Another person, who grew up in exactly the same environment, can only remember what a great childhood they had, playing games with their friends, and being loved by their family. These two people could have been next door neighbors or even siblings, yet see the same events in very different ways, resulting in generating completely different thoughts, emotions, and perspectives.

Following that chain of understanding, a flat tire on the morning commute to work can either be a minor inconvenience or a sure sign God hates your guts. Hearing your three-year old scream “I hate you” during a tantrum, can either be seen as a child needing to be disciplined, or bring up your insecurities, having you believe you’re a horrible parent. It’s not just the event, it’s how you see the event, and what you believe it means to you. In other words, what you think about habitually, really impacts how you see the world, how you feel, and how you behave.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. -Philippians 4:8-9

Look at what Paul’s saying here. He’s linking what you think about with receiving the peace of God. Isn’t that amazing? It’s probably why believers do better in serving God when they regularly read the Bible, pray, and associate with other believers.

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. -1 Thessalonians 5:9-11

It’s more difficult to feel unloved and unlovable when you regularly meet with a group of people who genuinely like you, encourage your efforts, and build you up. Even when you are in the midst of hardships, such “building up” can have benefits that extend beyond the time you spend with your congregation.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:4-7

If you connect thinking about what is true, noble, right, and pure, with being in a congregation where people encourage each other, and connect that to praying with thanksgiving, you can see what Paul means in Philippians 4, when he says rejoicing in the Lord brings peace beyond all understanding. If we are what we think, and we think about what is Holy (rejoice in the Lord, pray to God, read the Bible, receive encouragement from other believers) on a regular basis, the reality of God in our lives starts making changes. Perhaps this is what Paul meant when he wrote this.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! -2 Corinthians 5:16-17

We tend to think that when we receive the Spirit, we are supernaturally transformed into this new creation immediately. Yet most of the time, people don’t experience themselves in a radically different way right after receiving the Spirit, than they did a few moments previously. What if the process of becoming a new creation isn’t just supernatural, dependent completely on God, but also depends on what we think and do? We then have a measure of responsibility for “reinventing” ourselves, along with God reinventing us as the new creation. But as I said, we’re not in it alone with God.

Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. -Titus 2:2-8

Modern churches have programs for different groups (singles, young married, teens) that provide for the specific needs of those groups. Apparently, the idea wasn’t completely foreign to Paul when he wrote this letter. Along with encouraging each other, we teach each other, depending on who we are and what our requirements may be, in order that we may lead Godly lifestyles, as opposed to completely human and self-determined lifestyles, which can include the aforementioned feelings of habitual sadness or lack of worth.

In fact, there’s quite a bit more in the Bible about how what we teach affects how we think and act. Here are just a few examples:

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you. -Titus 2:11-15

If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. -1 Timothy 6:3-7

These verses seem to speak for themselves when you attach the context of this article. They can also be considered a cautionary note, should you find yourself attending a congregation that encourages worldly passions, envy, strife, controversies, and the like. Unfortunately, not every place that calls themselves a church, synagogue, or congregation of the Messiah is worthy of the name. If we want to experience a Godly lifestyle, free from inner turmoils, not only are we responsible for what we read and pray on a regular basis, but for who we assemble with habitually. Also note that Paul said not to let anyone despise you. That can include not despising yourself.

I’ve mentioned the words “regularly” and “habitually” a number of times to make a point. Yes, it’s important to read the Bible, to pray to God, to meet with the congregation, but it’s also important to go beyond performing these activities at just a minimum. Your congregation may only meet on Shabbat, but if it meets more often, it will help to spend more time with them. If they don’t meet more than once a week, you can still choose to meet with some of your fellow believers over coffee, or for some other purpose, on a more frequent basis. Reading the Bible only occasionally, or only when you are preparing for study on Shabbat is fine, but reading regularly or habitually is better done by reading the Word daily. Jewish tradition establishes a standard of praying twice a day, but how many people devote two specific occasions on a daily basis to formally talk to God? How would you be different if you did spend time with God exclusively, even once a day?

I know it seems like I’m being quite a pest about this, but consider what you actually do think about all the time. Is it politics? Does President Obama or some other political figure really burn you up? Are you frightened by the rising crime rate? Does the economy or the unemployment situation worry you a lot? How about making ends meet, or finding a way to stretch your dollar? These are all (or can be) legitimate concerns, but do you give them more importance than your time with God, the Bible, and the congregation? I live in the real world, too and I have the same issues as everyone else, but I also know those issues will eventually pass away. The things of God on the other hand, will never pass away. What should be occupying more of your time and your thoughts?

Faith is a choice. We make it every day. Sometimes, we make the choice for (or against) faith everytime we react to a difficult situation. Being saved is only the beginning. Once we start on the path, we walk on a journey with God every day of our lives. We can walk along in silence, or we can choose to talk with God in prayer, and appreciate His company. We can walk along in silence, or we can choose to hear what He’s telling us by praying and reading the Bible. We can walk along in silence, or we can gather our congregation around us, and all walk on the journey together.

I’m not saying you’ll never be sad or unhappy in your life. You still have the full range of human emotions. Yeshua wept at the death of Lazarus. Sarah laughed out of incredulousness when she first heard she was going to have a baby in old age, then laughed with joy when Isaac was born. Job felt terrible grief at the loss of his children, and Jonah was disgruntled, not only when God told him to prophesy to the city of Nineveh, but also when God actually spared the great city. God created us as emotional as well as thinking people. He knows the heights of our joy and the depths of our despair. He knows what we spend all our time being preoccupied about, which is probably why He had Paul write Philippians 4:8-9.

During this Ten Days of Teshuvah; a ten day period of intense introspection and brutal self-examination, do not forget that God loves you. As difficult as it can be to face your short comings, remember this is also a time to wipe the slate clean with God and start fresh.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
-Psalm 51:7-10

The Psalm you just read was written by David after one of the worst failures of his life, yet he recovered from his failure, and is known as “a man after God’s own heart.” Return to God and He will return to you. Choose to consider and ponder those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. If you’re one of those people who habitually has a difficult time liking yourself, let alone “loving” yourself, over the long haul, making these changes will help. If Yeshua says you are to love your neighbor as yourself, your ability to obey the Master and to love your neighbor, is only as good as your ability to love yourself.

With that in mind, loving yourself, by seeing yourself the way God does, isn’t being selfish or self-serving; it’s the will of God, and benefits not only you, but your neighbor, who is everyone around you.

Be at peace.